


If Only We Were Ordinary

by Eternalxblossom



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Because Nathan is a cupcake, F/M, character exploration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-12 02:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18001682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternalxblossom/pseuds/Eternalxblossom
Summary: "It's times like these he wishes he was just a man in love with a woman."Nathan/Audrey, Nathan-centric. One-shot.





	If Only We Were Ordinary

It's times like these - when he's lying awake in the late hours of the night, casually sipping a beer and watching the first baseball game in what feels like ages – a once acquired post-case routine – that Nathan Wuornos wishes he was ordinary. It's times like these, when he catches her soulful, transparent blue gaze from across the room, quietly studying him, curious and intrigued - but in no way pitiful, encouraging and compassionate - but in no way judgmental, instead looking at him like he's the one puzzle she never quite could piece together, when everything she's done, her whole life, was to solve mysteries, that he wishes everything was easy, clear, attainable.

There's nothing he wishes more than for her to still feel like that life belonged and still belongs to her, when she sometimes doubts herself, to convince her that she is actually real, and not a figment of anyone's imagination, not a shadow of anyone's persona, but a whole, real being, tied to this town and him in mysterious ways, but still, an actual person.

On chilly nights, basking in the quiet stillness of a place that is anything but quiet and calm, he wishes he could just take her and run away – from everything, from the troubles, from this cursed town, from all the pain and heartache and choices no one should be forced to make and have to bear the consequences on their own. But they are not ordinary. They are anything but. They have a bigger responsibility than the two of them, a role willingly assumed – to protect this town. At all costs.

It's times like these he wishes he was just a man in love with a woman – bring her pancakes in the morning, kiss her soundly on the lips just to savor the mix of maple syrup and something that's uniquely her, promise to love and cherish her forever for no reason than just for who she is.

His skin is numb, but his heart never was – and he loved her before he even realized she was the only thing in this world he could feel – he loved her when she first came to Haven and he rescued her from a falling vehicle, dangling over the edge, he loved her even when she pointed a gun to his face and demanded to know his name, he loved her when she tasted his coffee in the mornings first, just to make sure he wouldn't burn his lips, he loved her when she called him an odd man, because for the first time, it only felt laced with quiet wonder and intrigue, and not fear – the fear of what can't be explained or understood. He loved her sarcastic undertones, her quirks, the laugh he hasn't heard in too long - bubbly and lively, just like she used to be when she first came to town, her calm and composed attitude in the face of all danger, her playful teasing, her heart.

It's times like these he desperately wants to tell her that she was the only one who could fix him – by showing him that he wasn't broken in the first place, by loving him despite him often feeling like a shadow of a man, less than what he was meant to be. Because she did, she did fix him. They fixed each other - he never saw her as broken either – he loved every little side of her. She was _his_ Audrey – regardless of the mysteries surrounding her true identity, the Barn, James Cogan, Lucy, Sarah, Mara – everything. It all tied up into something more he didn't quite put together yet, but that didn't mean she was just a piece in that puzzle, a fragment of a former, whole self. She was a whole being on her own. And she was beautiful, and amazing, and _enough._

Solving troubles, helping people, protecting the town – that was all her doing. And no matter whose memories she was forced to carry time and time again, and Mara's personality taking over, overpowering her, she always emerged from underneath it all - stronger and braver, ready to risk everything for him, for this town, for doing what is right.

He's grateful to have her, after all the struggles they both faced to keep her here, and he'd do anything in his power to keep her safe and figure out how to stop the troubles forever, even if that means often making hard choices or compromising - just so the town can finally be whole again, without anyone suffering ever again, so maybe, just maybe, they'll get their chance again too, to do things right for them as well, so they can finally have a chance at a future together. Because they deserve it. They've been through enough.

It's times like these he wishes he was just like every other man. He sometimes wonders what normal and ordinary feels like. But they're none of those. They never have been. They're the key of Haven, they're the ones holding it together when it's falling apart. And it's on their shoulders – they can't run away from it, they have to face it, every day, stronger and braver – just like their love, facing every obstacle and only growing with each passing day, giving them the power to fight the unknown.

But for now, he has to wait, just a little longer, for that image of Audrey in a wedding gown, walking down the aisle and gazing at him in a way only she ever did, that white picket fence house and the sounds of children playing happily in the backyard to become a reality, he has to accept that he's more than just a man loving a woman. They are more.

_"Nathan, come by the station as soon as you get this. We have another one."_

And that's okay.


End file.
